SICKO

Blogger STILL won't let me upload photos. So I thought instead I'd try my luck with these word things for a little while.

Roi and I are working on a “framing” social experiment in a few days using some regular freshmen and juniors as our guinea pigs. What I realized from the “social science” unit in TOK is how we live and operate each and every day in a large social experiment code named IB.

Here, published for the first time, are some research results from the good folks over at Stressing IB Classes & Kids Out (SICKO):

Hypothesis: A stressful, “high-stakes” atmosphere will greatly decrease ability of participants to carry out simple tasks.

Procedure:

1. Ask participants to spell their names in capital letters in a space on paper designated “name”.
   
2. Ask participants to perform the same task again, reminding them that “THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT”, “THIS IS GOING TO IB HQ” and “DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES MESS UP!!!!”
   
3.  Record number of times during each trial subjects requested new papers, lost pens, required assistance, shouted in frustration, misspelled their own names, forgot how to write in capital letters, or exhibited other symptoms of distress or incompetence.*
   

Results: When asked to spell their names in capital letters, IB students fail miserably under high-stress conditions.

Hypothesis: Building on previous research (see above), those at SICKO planned to test how other situations affected IB kids’ ability to perform tasks. This experiment sought to investigate the effects of structured classroom environments and guidance on the completion of simple activities.

Procedure: Tell the class that a Socratic Seminar is planned. Request that they move their desks into a large circle.

Observations: Students took over ten minutes and still had not placed their desks into a circle. Observed behavior during the testing period:

•  Constructing a phallic shape out of desks instead of a circle
  
• Creating smaller circles with social isolation as the apparent intention
  
• Laying on the floor
  
• Gentle tugging or pushing on desks so as to move them slightly without offering any assistance whatsoever in the construction of the circle
  
• Loudly commanding peers to move their desks into the circle while not participating in circle construction themselves
  
• Wandering aimlessly
  
• Asking the teacher if turning in make-up work at the time was acceptable
  
• Discussing the inability of peers and themselves to successfully construct the circle
  
• Satirically behaving like misogynists
  
• Loudly complaining about other students’ misogynistic behavior (satirical nature of these complaints is unknown)
  

Results: The students failed to complete the task until the teacher directed specific students to complete the circle (this process itself took approximately five minutes). Researchers at SICKO determined that without strong guidance, IB students are unable to construct geometric shapes (excluding those phallic in nature) out of their desks for the purpose of discussion.

*you think I am exaggerating for comedic value. I am not.