IB kids at my school have a tradition that dates at least three years back. Our cafeteria is tiny, so most kids eat outside under The Ramada, a bunch of picnic tables under a big metal shade. One table on the farthest corner has been claimed as The IB Senior Table. The choice of location is incredibly strategic because 1.) it means that in the summer, half of the table is exposed to the sun and 2.) the “nerds” are easy to distinguish and throw things at. We may be the best and the brightest minds, but we tend to be ritually dumb creatures of habit when it comes to sitting at an awful table three years in a row.
The results of containing too many IB kids in an unstructured environment with food and regulars include fistfights, social experiments, iPod soap operas, violent discussions, rubix cube tournaments, and pointless “hypothetically…” conversations.
Yes, a couple of IB kids did get into a fight last year. I won’t go into details because I wasn’t there – but trust me, hearing about it secondhand was enough. Don’t throw French fries at IB kids. We will mess you up! Actually, please don’t sucker punch us. We don’t enjoy it.
The results of containing too many IB kids in an unstructured environment with food and regulars include fistfights, social experiments, iPod soap operas, violent discussions, rubix cube tournaments, and pointless “hypothetically…” conversations.
Yes, a couple of IB kids did get into a fight last year. I won’t go into details because I wasn’t there – but trust me, hearing about it secondhand was enough. Don’t throw French fries at IB kids. We will mess you up! Actually, please don’t sucker punch us. We don’t enjoy it.
Last year, there was a period of time when there was a fight at lunch every few days. Young adolescent behavior during a fight involves running around, standing up, and, most noticeably, yelling. Even if one cannot see the fight, one is obliged to yell “OOOHHH”. The purpose of this yelling is apparently to alert the administration so they can come stop the fight as soon as possible. There is no other result of the yelling and therefore no other plausible explanation. (it's nice that we have such an activist student body) One day, we were looking out over the regulars and their pathetic lunch tables devoid of TI-84 calculators (plugging them into each other for Tetris competitions is also popular). Someone commented about the “wave effect” that fight yelling has and we decided to stage a social experiment of sorts. Our table started yelling and within seconds the entire Ramada had picked it up – at which time we stopped and resumed eating our lunch/doing our homework. Everyone was yelling and half the kids were craning their necks around or standing up, trying to locate the altercation. Monitors and campus cops were running in every direction, walkie-talkies in hand, also trying to find it. It was a sobering lesson on mob mentality. But mostly it was hilarious watching everyone go crazy.
Yesterday was a typical IB lunch table experience.
The Ramada has structural support beams that criss-cross the entire underside. Pigeons like to sit on them. Think about what happens when you eat lunch at picnic tables under a pigeon parking lot. The other day, Tigre’s backpack was a casualty, so we were all extra-vigilant when it came to the pigeon situation. One decided to sit right above Roi, who scooted intimately close to Goa. Tigre talked about his vendetta against all feathered creatures while M threw bottle caps in an unsuccessful attempt to make the pigeon move. I clapped and yelled at it, which must have startled it, because right then, it pooped. Someone commented on how it hurts to be pooped on by a bird, a claim that was disputed. The physics kids proceeded to try and figure out how one would calculate the velocity of falling bird poop. I’m a bio kid who didn't feel that the current discussion enhanced my enjoyment of my taco, so I yelled at them to shut up. The discussion shifts to my opinion that paying for a sub when we have a student teacher every day is a waste of the school’s money. I comment that “a monkey could sub a class of IB kids”.
Rubix: If a monkey stuck a video in and told me to watch it, I’d watch that movie!
Me: No, Rubix, you’d watch the monkey.
Rubix: True. But if it left, then I’d watch!
Me: Are you joking? I’d follow the talking monkey!
Physics kid: We’d have to figure out a way to weigh it…
Me: Are we seriously still on this!?
Other physics kid: Just put a scale under the bird!
Me: Oh my gosh. Seriously.
Side note: SUPERCONGRATS to the National Merit semi-finalists! Yay for names on the marquee!
2 comments:
THAT WAS YOU GUYS?!
Ahahaha.
I've always felt very torn between sitting at the theatre table, the IB senior table, and with Stealth. Our table gets stolen when Balfour comes and last time we sat at Stealth's table, so maybe next time we'll come visit you all. That is, if it's cool with you.
Psh. of course it's cool! the senior IB table is all-inclusive!...if you're an IB senior, haha.
depending on how many people come it might be a little tight but that's TRADITION. you should have been around in years past to see the shuffling and squishing... how many IB seniors can fit on 3 picnic tables? (answer: as many as you want) haha. no wonder their classes were so close.
also for a minute I thought Balfour was a nickname for someone that I made up and then spaced. haha.
oh, and don't be so surprised. what other group is likely to stage a social experiment at lunch?
Post a Comment