Friday, January 30, 2009

Post-9/11

“Post-9/11 mindset” was a term that started getting thrown around Sept. 12, 2001. I was eleven at the time, and a lot of the talk was about how my generation would be affected by the change in national perspective. I couldn’t have cared less, and as I grew into young adulthood in the only world I’d ever known, the term continued to sound like a meaningless buzzword used by pundits to try and easily explain away everything happening around us. It then appeared as an excuse to infringe upon our civil liberties, and my apathy toward the term turned into vitriol. I thought it was an overblown, meaningless term that gained popularity because it was an easy excuse for any behvaior. It wasn’t until I went to a baseball game with my grandparents the week before I started at Goucher that I accepted the reality of the different generational perspectives. 
We got to the stadium and they wouldn’t let us into our seats, saying that there was a “suspicious package” left unattended that they needed to investigate. We were stuck sitting downstairs in the little health center until the area was cleared. My grandparents were concerned and wondered why, if there was a possible bomb, the entire place wasn’t being evacuated. I, more used to the hypervigilance of our times, was nonchalant and told them “it’s probably a bag of potato chips or something. They don’t really think it’s a bomb, they just have to follow protocol because it could be.” They didn’t understand how everyone was so calmly accepting the paradoxical assumption that “it’s not a bomb, but it might be,” but I come from a high school that evacuates into the parking lot for bomb threats and I’ve never been to a mall, airport or concert venue that didn’t request that we report “suspicious or unattended bags.” 
It gets more complicated than that, however. Fear turned into annoyance and my grandfather didn’t understand what was taking so long. I told them “they can’t just go poke it and see if it explodes,” and I was prepared to patiently wait for the situation to be cleared up. It’s easier for me to conceive of the possibility of such an act of public violence, because they happen today in schools and trains and other places. I’m also used to waits like this, and I anticipate the possibility of one every time I set foot in a public place. It was interesting to me how I was much less upset about having to wait even though I was less concerned about the actual threat, while my grandparents were more afraid but also more impatient. 
Conclusion: there is something to the “post-9/11 mindset” and it’s much more complex than just being afraid of terrorists or feeling desensitized to the threat. I see the world differently than older generations. To me, the threat of random civilian bombings or shootings is real and I take it for granted that it’s a risk we take by existing in this society. I also expect to deal with the necessary reactions to this threat, even though I know that the majority of the time, the alarm is false. 
My grandparents seem to see it as more black-and-white: either there is a threat and we should be very frightened, or there is not a threat and we should not be inconvenienced. Our generation inhabits a grey area where the threat of terrorism is almost a Shroedinger’s cat scenario – it may and may not exist simultaneously, and we must always act according to this dual possibility, refusing to allow ourselves to react as if it was certainly present but also preparing ourselves for its possible presence. Oh, and remember my theory on the cause of the panic? We found out later a cameraman had left his lunch in the wrong place.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

What You Do - Letter of Instruction

(I wrote this during the second semester of my senior year of high school. I was waiting to get out of that life, to finish and be in college, and this is a prose-poem of sorts where I was trying to capture that desperate apathy and the feeling that existence at the time was just a holding pattern, a pointless intermission while waiting for purpose and joy. It's supposed to read like a list of commands, hence all the action verbs at the beginnings of the sentences.)

What do you do with a day? What do you do with a day after you’ve given up on it, postponed the revolution for another twenty-four hours, resigned yourself to the waiting? What do you do until? 
Wake up to screaming red numbers, far too early, your last memory of slimy, heavy thoughts pushing into sleep. Slam the screaming off and hit the lights, glance over the whiteboard list of things you need to do and fight the flitting panic with a sigh and an excuse. Feel time sliding forward with you along for the ride and wonder why you bother steering when everything is already headed somewhere. Stand under the hot water and step out, feeling no cleaner, no newer, than before. Leave before the mirror clears from the steam, no concern for looks. Feed the cat, grab a drink, make sure you have your glasses and phone. Scribble down an essay you forgot to do, chew on the pen. Your teeth hurt. 
Ride to school, watch the memorized route through the window, a memorized voice in your ear. Meet with a teacher, settle into the undefined roles, familiar but vague, somewhat codependent, aloof. Rubber stamp on your sheet. Done. Walk to class, sit outside on the linoleum, edit a junior’s paper, think about sitcoms, wonder about the future of your highlighters. 
Class starts. Answer questions about a poem. Decide to read the poem again, realize you like the poem more, and understand it less, than the College Board wants to allow. Think about Echo and Narcissus and mothers and romanticized notions of pain. Write a note to the best friend, check your phone for no reason. 
Move, new class. Cradle a fetal pig in non-latex gloved hands. Picture your brain light up with neurotransmitters, reactions, nurturing instinct. Mentally cite research studies, the “aww” factor, the “cuddle chemical”. Want to protect but instead slice and cut and poke and examine. Stand there awed and fascinated and horrified and revolted at it, pink and helpless and soft and curled. Worry about transfer when a misplaced scalpel catches on your hand. Clean up with a queasy stomach.
Move. Ask in broken Spanish for permission to leave without a pass. Leave. Hand out questionnaires to freshmen, get lost in the apathy and the ignorance. You don’t understand. Visit an old teacher, miss her, miss her class, wonder why she doesn’t teach everything. 
Move. Notice a bloody finger. Confusion, then the memory of the scalpel. Announce the situation nonchalantly, all worry gone. Sanitize for the benefit of those watching. Wonder what may have transferred, do not care. Take notes on Soviet leaders, scowl at your handwriting. 
Go to lunch. Don’t feel well. Stand in the sun, warm up, talk to your friends, feel the memory of the round face push against hunger. Walk inside, stand in line, try to eat an egg roll. Stand in line, offer up your ID. Get handed a box. Move outside, into the sun, eyes stinging. Open the box, check against the receipt, find everything in place: announcements, labels, envelopes, nonsense etiquette explanations, “put one inside the other”. Try to feel giddy, knowing this makes graduation a reality, but only check off one responsibility and add another. 
Move inside from the sun, “do your eyes feel weird?” Substitute, roll call, a name you keep forgetting you have. Stretch on the floor, watch the documentary on the projector screen. Glance at the couple cuddling behind you, try to settle on an appropriate level of jealousy. Watch. Get caught up in revolution, in youth, in romance, and even though you know it’s coming, you are blindsided when it falls apart. Try to fit the pieces in your mind; revolution defies definition. Feel like crying but decide against it for the sake of those nearby. Instead ball up your fists, feign numbness, resolve to join the fight once you can find it. 
Move. Give up quickly. Ignore the teacher at the board, bury yourself in what you can do. Edit junior papers and block out everything else. Leave.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I'm Home!

I'm back at Goucher, hooray! I'm adjusting the update schedule to allow for thrice-weekly updates without clumping things together. Updates will be as follows:
Sundays - fiction pieces!
Wednesdays - Wednesday is declared Stuff I Like To Do But Am Not Very Good At day. There'll be mostly slam poetry, provided I like it and continue slamming. If I don't have slam poetry, I'll put up photography, doodles, charts, or something. 
Fridays - essays!

So stay tuned. I also might clean up the site layout because I really don't like how messy it looks sometimes. 
I'd also like to ask for a quick favor here - I'd like to know exactly what sort of audience I have at this point (whether it's mostly my original AZ IB readers or if you all gave up on me and it's now generally Goucher kids) as well as how many of you there are. This will inform future online projects, so if you'd kindly comment with who you are (or at least where you're from, if anonymity is your bag), it would be much appreciated.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Friday, January 16, 2009

Things To Occupy You Over Break #6: Stores

Lollyphile
They make absinthe, maple bacon and wasabi-ginger lollipops. No one will be "hard to shop for" after you discover this place. 

The site itself is the world's most searchable anything ever - search by color, style, price, date, whatever. It makes Google look like the Dewey Decimal System. But the content is what's even more awesome - handcrafted everything, from bags and clothes to paper products to food to toys to whatever. You can even advertise customized things or request something with their "alchemy" tool. My favorite section is "geekery" - check out the jewelry, the steampunk and molecular stuff is awesome.

If you've seen someone with a superawesome, not-cliche'd shirt, chances are good it was a Woot! purchase. Their stuff is irreverent and intelligent, and the way the shop is set up - a daily Woot! only available for one day, plus the ongoing derbies - adds excitement and suspense. Yes, they've made online t-shirt shopping exciting and suspenseful. If only they wrote calc books too. Also, reading their job applications/descriptions makes me want to work for them.

I first found Rise Up! apparel in a store in Moab, a town where Mormons and hippies coexist peacefully. The profits go to charities that help children in third-world countries, which I think is pretty neat.

No, it's not the Discovery Institute's gift shop. It's more t-shirts. If you think conspiracy theories, fundamentalist Bible interpretations, or old-fashioned superstitions are amusing, you'll love these. They also sell SCIENCE! shirts too, which are awesome as well.

I really wanted a cityscape messenger bag for my laptop case, but the price was a little out of my range. Still, her stuff is fantastic (sperm and ovum coin pouch? YES.) 

A little side note about American Apparel: A lot of independent t-shirt online stores print on AA stuff. I know some people refuse to buy AA because of Dov Charney's reputation for being a total skeeze, and I understand not wanting to fund such skeezery, but I am torn. AA is sweatshop-free, and their special brand of worker-mistreatment must be viewed as more "voluntary". With Charney's reputation so public, anyone who works there anyway has made a choice to enter that environment, whether or not I think that environment should exist or be tolerated to begin with. So by linking these stores, I am not supporting the AA boycott, because I prefer sexist treatment of voluntary employees to sweatshop labor. I will, however, take this opportunity to say I do not condone Charney's behavior. I also don't like their ads.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

WOCAM, Inc. update

Causes for optimism in the new year:

Proposed legislation to end drug advertising. Sign the petition here. I'm keeping an eye on this act, expect updates. Studies have found that drug advertising can have a negative effect on consumers and patients - it's been linked to issues like overprescription and patients being prescribed more expensive drugs for no reason.

Eli Lilly illegally marketed the antipsychotic Zyprexa for unauthorized uses and to patients especially at-risk for the side effects. No summary I could give would properly describe just how enraging and wrong many of their actions were, so read the article. It also says that most of the major drug companies are facing similar charges, which means that finally someone is holding them accountable and exposing their dangers.

While this isn't a law, it's a new code from PRhMA that's notably more strict than previous codes and is anticipatory of new legislation that would legally mirror the professional code. Read a shorter article here.

On Reactions To Ignorance


Monday, January 12, 2009

Things To Occupy You Over Break #5: Miscellaneous

bash.org
A community controlled site full of funny things said in IRC chat. Will leave you wishing some people were your new best friend and others would never go near the internet again. Contains racism, profanity, and other not-nice things.

The most ridiculous, bizarre, clueless, or hilarious things posted to craigslist. The game is trying to figure out whether some of them are serious (for your sanity, you will inevitably end up convincing yourself that they are not.)

Some of these make me laugh out loud. What happens when the blind, underpaid and overworked attempt to use photoshop.

Photoessays and photo projects. Under "books" you can learn about a locked mental ward for women in the 1970s, a school for special-needs kids in Iceland, and Indian prostitutes. 

Hell is other people, and our generation's Book of Revelation is this collection of angry, aggressive, passive, or obnoxious notes.

I'm not into fashion, but the things Bai Ling wears just make me happy. Other people, with more money than you or me, go out in public like this. And we care. Oh, humanity.

People keep journals (personal, traveling, or community) and then post them on the site. They're fascinating.

Graphs about things we're all aware of. Half are song lyrics or other pop culture references. Similar to indexed, which I've already linked here, but more juvenile.

Mainstream newspaper comics kind of suck. This blog making fun of them is written by that guy who was the kid in your class making snide comments about the lame videos you always had to watch. It's like MST3K for comics.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Things To Occupy You Over Break #4: Non-Serial Webcomics

These are non-serial webcomics, meaning each one is funny or understandable on its own. Some of them have consistent themes or jokes and you might gain something by reading beginning-to-end, but it's not necessary.

XKCD
All of you already read this, but it needs to be here anyway. The definitive webcomic on all things geeky, nerdy, or awesome. Sometimes it is also about sex.

David Malki! has taken old art and recontextualized it to make one of the least self-important, most hilarious things on the web. Some of them still make me laugh out loud even though I know them by heart.

Yes, guys, it's the same pictures over and over. You either get it or you don't.

The kind of thing that makes you wonder why you didn't come up with the idea, then realize you could never do exactly what they do. It's a bittersweet, bizarre, intelligent sort of thing that leaves you feeling very human and wanting to express that in a similarly beautiful way.

If you ever need to remind yourself that you are a bad person, read this. It is so not funny, but it is hilarious. It is so wrong but it feels so right.

Often hopeless, dirty, explicit, or all three, it's a political cartoon drawn by a guy from Baltimore who seems like he would be fun to hang out with. What can be funnier or more interesting than the cartoons themselves are his blog-like "Artist's Statements."

Another "why didn't I think of that?" sort of idea. Norman wrote a program to pull random photos off Flickr, then he puts funny captions on them. They are awesome and funny and proof that us young people won't necessarily use the internet just to coordinate suicides or look at porn, but sometimes to find photos of other people and write silly things about them.

A grad student writes things on a chalkboard, then takes photos of them. They are wise and amusing.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Greek Riots

Random update time! Whee!

In December, Greek riot police shot a 15 year old and now anarchist groups based in Greek cities are violently retaliating. It's a story not many of us have heard about, and I think it's interesting (both the lack of coverage and the situation itself) because you rarely see such organized and focused anarchist activity in America and when you do, it's portrayed as mindlessly violent and never sympathetically. But the way the Greek situation is playing out is a little different - note how the police seem to recognize that they have to walk a line too and respect the protesters (before all this started the anarchists had a "fortress" area of a city where police avoided, and the police aren't allowed onto some of the university campuses). Reports have the Prime Minister responding to the protesters by committing to a fight against social injustice and possibly "reshuffling" the government to move away from its current conservatism. (Compare this to the claim that public horror at the 1968 DNC riots was a large factor in Nixon's election.) The policeman who shot the boy is being charged with murder and held in prison while some other higher-ups in charge of the police offered resignations.
Also note how and where this is being reported - Google "Greek Riots" and the first two links you get to current reporting are the BBC and the Christian Science Monitor - it's not exactly a big story in mainstream American reporting. Here's the story:
And for kicks and giggles, check out the Fox News report, which includes quotes from the Socialist party, which is in opposition to the current Prime Minister, saying that the country "is no longer being governed." It seems to more strongly condemn the Greek government for not cracking down harder on the protesters and regaining control - because, you know, when people rise up against a government and demand change, the government's responsibility is to make them sit down and be quiet. It also quotes from the policeman's defense lawyer, saying that the ("not yet complete") ballistics report "proves irrefutably" that the fatal shot was a "ricochet" and that the death was therefore not the officer's fault.
Keep in mind that the protesters have big issues with the current government and the police, and I'm not saying that police or government sentiment in response to the riots is anything close to utopian - I'm just pointing out subtle differences between this situation and how it might play out differently here in America.

On Being A Brand Whore (or, "if you're wearing sweatpants, get off my blog!")


Sunday, January 4, 2009

Things To Occupy You Over Break #3: Serial Webcomics

These are all serial strips, meaning they have storylines that require the strips to be read in order. In some cases this will take a very long time, since the archives go back years. I've linked the main page of each of them, so to start reading, click "first strip" or go to "archives" and start at the earliest. Treat them like novels - if you have to leave partway through, just bookmark the strip you're at and start again from there.

Something*Positive
This strip isn't for everybody. It starts with an abortion joke and the black humor never lets up. That said, it's one of my absolute favorites, because the characters are well-developed and the punchlines are always hilarious but still feel like dialogue. R.K. Milholland does a great job wrapping up each arc while maintaining a consistent mood and canon. If it's your thing, you'll be captivated by the immense amount of archives, so be careful. If it's not, you'll be bummed out by the misanthropy. Give it a shot, and you'll know soon enough whether you're a fan.

There's not much to this strip but it's consistently lovable and a lot of them are pretty funny. It's one of the most popular serial webcomics out there (or it's the one with the most vocal or social fans). It's a character-driven story about a bunch of 20-something hipsters who are all really neurotic. I like the art.

This starts out FANTASTIC and gets kinda awful, but for a long time it was a big influence on my character writing. The world and the characters are incredibly engaging and reading all of the archives will be very satisfying until you get to about mid-2007, at which point it kind of jumps the shark. But the beginning is very worth it.

Two boys grow up as best friends, then fall in love - but the comic is not about a "gay relationship" but rather, just a relationship. The chemistry between Fox and Collin is unique and the rest of the characters are great as well. It's quirky, funny, sweet, strange, and tied with Something*Positive for my favorite strip. 

I can't decide if this goes under Serial or not, so I put it here because I'd recommend reading it from beginning to end. It has a very strange vibe to it and some of you might hate it, but I think it exposes some little sliver of our humanity that is very often ignored. It sometimes addresses the themes of madness and faith (my two favorite themes, yay) from a really different, gentle and interesting angle.

If QC took itself less seriously and did more drugs, it would be Octopus Pie. Some of the arcs are rather forgettable, but the reality of the characters never wanes (even when they seem like they should feel like caricatures) and they're all lovable all the time, even though you know you'd hate them in real life.

At first glance, it's the comic equivalent of every zombie movie ever. But the art is fantastic, and if you poke around the site you see that the artist has put an immense amount of planning and effort into creating that world. It has a very LotR feel - an encyclopedic creation of a fantasy reality that doesn't overpower the main story but enriches it.