Sunday, April 29, 2007

A Day In The Life Part 2

Fifth Hour – Biology

Red Dog (the male associate of 5) has changed his Birthday Song from second hour from a Chinese one to a “Communist Leader” one. Problem is, he can only come up with those two and one other Russian guy, so he’s sitting in Biology class trying to think of some more.
RD has this little quirk – attention deafness. It’s like the opposite of ADD. When he starts paying attention to something, he REALLY pays attention to it; and is literally oblivious to anything and everything around him. I proved this once before. He was two feet away from me talking to Biology Teacher. I said his name 4 or 5 times, getting louder every time, then I half-shouted “I want to make hot, passionate love to RD!” The entire class heard (I had some explaining to do, since most of them didn’t hear my buildup of trying to prove that he couldn’t hear me). He turned around a few minutes later, completely oblivious, and asked “What'd I miss?”
Anyway, so this attention-deafness kicks in. The following exchange between me and him:
“I can’t think of any more Communist leaders!”
“Joseph Stalin.”
“Man, I know there are more.”
“Jo-seph Sta-lin.”
“More Russian guys.”
“JOSEPH STALIN.”
“Can you think of any?”
“Yes. Joseph Stalin.”
“Right, Stalin! What was his first name?”
We then proceed to get into a class argument about whether or not Boris Yeltsin was communist or not. When I get a pass to go to my locker to get a worksheet I forgot, RD comes with, and we detour to History Teacher’s room. We walk in on him standing at his podium lecturing a bunch of freshmen.
Red Dog: Are you busy?
HT: ….
RD: We have a question. Was Boris Yeltsin communist?
HT: Yes. He was democratically elected, but he was a communist first.
RD: Thanks!
(RD and I are leaving and are halfway out the door)
HT: Wait! What the heck for?
RD: I’m writing a Birthday Song –
Me: - Inspired by your second hour today.
HT: Aren’t you two supposed to be in Bio right now?
RD: Yes.
On the way back, we decide to add Lee Harvey Oswald to the list, broadening the scope from “Communist leaders” to “famous people who were probably kind of communist”.

Sixth Hour – Language Arts
We’re starting Going After Cacciato. After an argument about how to pronounce “Cacciato”, we start reading aloud. “Oyster” is mispronounced. Swear words are read. A deep literary discussion ensues about whether or not a “roach” only refers to marijuana or also a hand-rolled cigarette.

Seventh Hour – Pre-Calculus
For the annual writing project, we were assigned to write songs, poems or short stories with three trig concepts in them. One boy from my class wrote three love songs to our math teacher, and performed then on guitar with vocal help from his friend in calc. (Side Note: Both performers were also members of the Nads.) The songs are priceless, with lines like “I want to be adjacent to your hypotenuse” and “together we can defy the Law of Cosines”. (If the two brilliant minds who wrote the songs want to send them to me, I’ll happily post them here) I comment aloud that I think the district kind of frowns on that. Math Teacher has to leave, and a sub oversees while we sit on the floor and discuss music, religion, our criteria for the opposite sex, and global warming.

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