Wednesday, April 23, 2008

IBy Any Other Name

I find myself constantly irritated at JF (temporary nickname for new player) because he's a well-read student of logic and debate and has a really annoying habit of not letting me say anything remotely unintelligent. He has been told countless times to "stop translating everything I say into stupid!" It's fascinating how a simple re-wording of a situation can make something that sounds very sensical suddenly seem like nonsense. Take, for example, this summation of dreaming. Or the fact that JF refers to Easter as "Zombie Jesus Day". IB is the same way. We unquestionably accept its weirdness until we have to sum it up to an outsider, and then the situation seems utterly ridiculous. Things I've said recently about my IB life (my mother has given up on asking me any variation of "how was your day?" or "what did you learn today?"):
"She can freaking suck it, and then cite her sources."

"I am taking notes on sensory perception and watching two moths try to bang."

"We're sitting in class arguing over what the "bases" are and studying for paper 2."

"I've been trying to convince HT that I didn't break anyone's jaw in two places by kissing them."

"Today I learned that animal crackers are math. So is throwing pens and shouting '9.81!!'".

"And I'm just really upset because the study guides are so easy and nobody ever told me the IB math exam was so easy and I am very angry about how easy the test is!"

"Just sitting in bio, listening to people yell about who isn't pregnant."

"What is ST talking about?"
"Naked indians in loincloths and how Latin Americans have Wal-Mart stores and the College Board can't re-schedule exams, and I think we're supposed to have our grammar books out."

and a straight-faced scolding from Roi to one of the Indians: "Stop humping K into the wrong desk."

All these things were said with completely unironic seriousness. Such are our lives. 

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