Thursday, July 5, 2007

Movie Reviews, IB Style

Bonus post! Two in a week! To make up for my complete lack of material during the summer. Get ready for lots more KBWC scans.
So, I saw Transformers the other day. It rocked.

Pros:
~Shia LeBeouf. Seriously, can you ever go wrong when he’s in a movie? No. He’s awesome.
~Character development. In a movie like Transformers, no less! But the main character, Sam (Shia LeBeouf) actually felt like a regular person, as did his parents and the geeky computer analyst people (they were great!). The heroine, not so much… more on that later. The dialogue was mostly not terrible too and had some genuinely funny lines.
~Ridiculously awesome action sequences. Honestly – GIANT ALIEN TRANSFORMING ROBOTS FIGHTING EACH OTHER. Is that ever not cool? No.
~ Voice cameo by a Bush impersonator, haha.
~Little squiggly talking computer hacking robot.
~Secret government conspiracy agencies. Again – try to come up with a situation when that’s not cool. Bet you can’t.

Cons:
~Plot points kind of discarded… what happened to the invisible force fields? And wasn’t there a dog in the first half of the movie?
~I didn’t think it was possible to take a giant alien transforming fighting robot… and make it a total wuss. The Autobots sounded like the brain-damaged, wastoid pre-teens on that old show Rocket Power – awfully cheesy dialogue, and total wimpy-ness in all situations. They were like Emo-bots. I bet all their computer brains have instant hookups to LiveJournal, constantly updating their deep inner robo-thoughts. I can see it now: “those Decepticons are SO gay!!!!11 why cant they just leave us alone? also were helping this kid and his parents are so totally annoying. parents suck. i wish they were dead.” I’m not making this up – go see the movie and tell me those aren’t the wimpiest, most emo robots you’ve ever seen. They shouldn’t have been given dialogue at all, and instead been the strong silent type of ALIEN ROBOT KILLING MACHINES. Would have been way cooler.
~I’m sorry, but there is absolutely NO WAY “Mikaela” (Megan Fox) was in high school. I know high schoolers in movies are always played by older actors, but come ON. Was she actually a teacher? Did she get held back five or ten years? Give me a break. It was like watching Angelina Jolie try to play Lizzie McGuire.
~Since when do secret government agencies hire wacked-out schizophrenic sadist guys? Some top-secret organization you got going there. Same psych evaluations as NASA? Might want to keep an eye on the diapers.
~That little squiggly-talking computer hacker robot? Very cool. Also very VERY annoying. Almost as bad as the little blue thing from Something Positive.
~Last scene – can anyone say voyeur? Can someone else say CREEPY?

With that said – go see it. It’s cool. Not exactly cinematic gold, but definitely fun.
EDIT: Nigiri says the robots weren't emo and the "parents should die" comment I'm making fun of is taken out of context. But he has ovaries and we aren't going to listen to him.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Shia and Fox are the same age, so if he can play a highschooler, i think she can too? IDK : / Just IMO