IB Justice

We did a mock trial of the Rosenberg case in History class today. Here’s how things go down in court with IB kids at the wheel.

The bailiff, dressed in combat boots, a leather jacket, mirrored aviators and a cowboy hat, opened up and, we all rose for Honorable Judge Roi. She looked quite judge-like in a black robe HT had in his closet (which, contrary to her pre-trial anxiety, did not appear to be crawling with lice). The effect was lost when she got to the podium and proceeded to announce that she could not find “her paper”. The court reporter located it on the floor.

Prosecution called their first witness, who was sworn in on a copy of The Communist Manifesto that he would “tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Mr. History Teacher.” A short recess was called when said witness refused to take the stand because there was “something funky on the seat” and a jury member came down to replace the offending chair. Judge Roi restored order by banging a - ball-peen hammer? what was that thing? – on HT’s Far Side daily calendar. She then threw out a perfectly legitimate hearsay objection (haha no bitterness here!)

I was a lawyer for the defense. My co-counselor Rubix and I prepared so well for some objections that we wowed (read: annoyed) the crowd with synchronized objections. My other co-counselor, Duckie’s Friend (he needs a new nickname) in Stealth’s shirt (two sizes too big), black basketball shorts, and a leg brace, was instrumental in, well, in distracting my clients from the fact that they’ve already been sentenced to death. But then he didn’t really have anything to do today.

Monday: Defense presents their case! DUN DUN DUNNNNN