Today was the first day of school. I'm so lucky this is my senior year, because if this stuff had happened the first day of freshman year, I probably would have dropped dead out simply of a strong desire to do so.
Major props to: 5, and all my other friends who love me despite my complete and utter awkwardness.
Period one: out of an almost hour long class period, I managed to drop and spill my purse during the only nanosecond of silence. Also, I had a book I borrowed from Monica (of SeekingZoe) and when she came in, I went to return it. I ran to the front of the room and yelled “Monica!” and threw out my arms to give her a hug. Except she didn’t hear me and walked over to talk to someone else, and the whole class was watching this because I’m loud.
Period two: Accidentally left my schedule in my locker and, when Bio Teacher asked to sign them, had to tell her I didn’t have it. Ten seconds after she said “If you guys don’t have yours… come on. You’re seniors, for crying out loud.” Oops. So then she made me lie on a desk and pretend to have passed out after sniffing sulphur so we could practice yelling CODE ONE! (don’t ask).
Period three: I don’t remember what Spanish Teacher said, but, I thought it was really funny. Too bad absolutely nobody else laughed.
Period four: Fell out of my desk. Seriously. I was sitting on one of my legs, and when I used the other one as leverage to get out of the desk, I slid off the seat and onto the floor. Also, accidentally reminded History Teacher of an incident last year I haven’t yet lived down.
IB kids have to do CAS hours - 50 each of Creativity, Action, and Service. One day at lunch I remarked that sex could be the ultimate CAS activity – there are opportunities to be creative, it’s definitely action, and depending on your partner, could also be service. (then)-Boyfriend thought it was hilarious. Hilarious enough to warrant sharing it with History Teacher (also the CAS coordinator) by saying “Hey! Sal has a question!” and repeating my joke. Even though Boyfriend said it, HT associates it with me, and brings it up way too often.
Today, he asked if any of us had done CAS over the summer, and Roi exaggeratedly turned to look at me, because I recently got busted when my mom called HT and found out I hadn’t done any paperwork for CAS yet. I whispered “You know what HT associated with CAS in my case. You just can’t do that or he’ll think we’re lesbians or something. You just can't do that.” But HT heard me and asked “What can’t she do?”
Me: Uh… join mock trial.
HT: Why not?
Me: Because she sucks?
Roi: Actually she said I can’t look at her when you mention CAS.
HT: Why not?
Lua (another girl who hangs out with 5): because remember the sex-for-CAS joke from last year?
HT: I had forgotten about that. Thanks.
Me: *headdesk*
(I’d like to note that I’m usually a much better liar than that and I’m pretty good with a quick, plausible answer to bail myself – or someone else – out of something pretty quickly. 5 will back me up on that.)
In retaliation, I threatened to give HT a “gift” of a poster-size print of a photo I have of Roi, where she looks absolutely HIDEOUS to the point of being almost deformed. It really is the worst photo of anyone I’ve ever seen.
Period five (lunch): I didn’t do anything, but Roi managed to get gum (the same piece) on the bottom of both her shoes, the top of one, and her toes. How, I really don’t know.
Period seven: I don’t remember what I was talking about, but Calc Teacher walked up at just the wrong moment. Twice.
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