More 1000BWC fun

I made this one during a game with 5... a few of us had some boy issues that everyone else kept making cards about, so I put an end to it.

Another one of mine, drawn in a burst of inspiration.

Pretty sure Jono made this but I'm not sure. I think it's hilarious.

Geo made this during the first ever 1000BWC game with 5. Everyone always plays it on Roi (who is perfectly normal-sized), and it's remained in our permanent deck since its creation, despite her protests.

My regular readers should recognize this.

Made by Jono, our resident Finland expert. I like how on all his cards, the points look like they were added as an afterthought.

More 1000BWC Highlights

IB scores came out this week.

You'd think I'd have more to say about that.

I don't.

I drew this, mostly becayse ladybugs are the one thing I can draw without hating myself completely. Jono added the menorah, I think so Roi's "religion" card would discard it, though I don't know why since it's positive points.

This is one of mine. The irony of the card is that almost every single card ever made for 1000BWC either is, or becomes, an inside joke. The game itself is almost an inside joke. Bonus points for anyone who knows the source of the "No ah hate munkehs!" drawing.

(Awesome Asian) was kind of quiet during the game, but he made some awesome cards.

Roi and I are convinced that Freud was gay for Carl Jung, but that's a blog for another day. Someone played this card to Tilapia, who determined that the next card (which was about bears) meant that the person drawing it had been deprived of teddy bears and other affection as a child.

Jono made this. Apparently Stanford's application doesn't include a "draw a crab" section.

This card makes me laugh but I can't tell who drew it. Nigiri added the "trillion" and played it to Roi, who told him he couldn't alter cards. He responded by writing "this card is homosexual" on one of my cards.

Movie Reviews, IB Style

Bonus post! Two in a week! To make up for my complete lack of material during the summer. Get ready for lots more KBWC scans.

So, I saw Transformers the other day. It rocked.

Pros:
~Shia LeBeouf. Seriously, can you ever go wrong when he’s in a movie? No. He’s awesome.
~Character development. In a movie like Transformers, no less! But the main character, Sam (Shia LeBeouf) actually felt like a regular person, as did his parents and the geeky computer analyst people (they were great!). The heroine, not so much… more on that later. The dialogue was mostly not terrible too and had some genuinely funny lines.
~Ridiculously awesome action sequences. Honestly – GIANT ALIEN TRANSFORMING ROBOTS FIGHTING EACH OTHER. Is that ever not cool? No.
~ Voice cameo by a Bush impersonator, haha.
~Little squiggly talking computer hacking robot.
~Secret government conspiracy agencies. Again – try to come up with a situation when that’s not cool. Bet you can’t.

Cons:
~Plot points kind of discarded… what happened to the invisible force fields? And wasn’t there a dog in the first half of the movie?
~I didn’t think it was possible to take a giant alien transforming fighting robot… and make it a total wuss. The Autobots sounded like the brain-damaged, wastoid pre-teens on that old show Rocket Power – awfully cheesy dialogue, and total wimpy-ness in all situations. They were like Emo-bots. I bet all their computer brains have instant hookups to LiveJournal, constantly updating their deep inner robo-thoughts. I can see it now: “those Decepticons are SO gay!!!!11 why cant they just leave us alone? also were helping this kid and his parents are so totally annoying. parents suck. i wish they were dead.” I’m not making this up – go see the movie and tell me those aren’t the wimpiest, most emo robots you’ve ever seen. They shouldn’t have been given dialogue at all, and instead been the strong silent type of ALIEN ROBOT KILLING MACHINES. Would have been way cooler.
~I’m sorry, but there is absolutely NO WAY “Mikaela” (Megan Fox) was in high school. I know high schoolers in movies are always played by older actors, but come ON. Was she actually a teacher? Did she get held back five or ten years? Give me a break. It was like watching Angelina Jolie try to play Lizzie McGuire.
~Since when do secret government agencies hire wacked-out schizophrenic sadist guys? Some top-secret organization you got going there. Same psych evaluations as NASA? Might want to keep an eye on the diapers.
~That little squiggly-talking computer hacker robot? Very cool. Also very VERY annoying. Almost as bad as the little blue thing from Something Positive.
~Last scene – can anyone say voyeur? Can someone else say CREEPY?

With that said – go see it. It’s cool. Not exactly cinematic gold, but definitely fun.

EDIT: Nigiri says the robots weren't emo and the "parents should die" comment I'm making fun of is taken out of context. But he has ovaries and we aren't going to listen to him.

IBers And The Games We Play

One of the best reasons to join IB is the people you'll be forced to spend your entire day with. We're quirky, nerdy, neurotic, and one big intellectual family.
One of the games we play, which is a good demonstration of how an "IB-type" personality manifests in ways besides just being book-smart, is 1000 Blank White Cards. The point of the game is - well, there isn't really one. The general concept is, everybody makes up cards to play on each other, themselves, or that can affect the entire table. The cards consist of a title, a silly drawing, and a point value or other action. If this sounds like a complete waste of time and you can't possibly imagine how it could ever be fun, then you may be a little too normal for us.
A few nights ago, Roi and I met up with four of the senior boys at Starbucks to play. Below are some of the highlights from the game. There were too many good ones to post all of them here, but since it's summer vacation and I have nothing else IB-related to talk about, you'll probably get to see them all.
Also, since I talk about the senior boys enough now, they all have their own nicknames. There's Tilapia, who works at Starbucks, Nigiri (named after a cut of sushi in keeping with the fish theme) was in mock trial with me, Jono has known me since I was in 2nd grade, and (another one who hasn't picked a nickname yet) is so awesomely Asian, he gives me free pocky from his job.

Tilapia made this one. It really needs no explanation.

Nigiri drew this. The colors change halfway through because I didn't want the purple pen and made him trade me. Ah, the joys of being an empowered woman.

I made this one and it is by far one of my favorite cards, ever.

Jono made this one. The utter randomness of it makes me laugh every time I look at it; as does the contrast between the caption and the dog's expression. Is it me, or is everything funnier without punctuation? (Case in point: this guy)

Tilapia made this card, which upset Jono because " 'go to hell' is not a valid card action!" so I think he awarded bonus points for people who got the reference. (I have never played a game of 1000BWC where points were actually tallied afterward. The game is such anarchy that it would almost defeat the purpose.)

The Stories Behind All The Silly Nicknames

So, when I decided to start a blog about school halfway through the school year, I kind of didn’t realize that material would dry up a bit over summer vacation. So, to prevent this from completely dying (all two of you who actually check this for updates), this week, you get: The Stories Behind All The Silly Nicknames.

When I actually started getting serious about this, I realized that I needed to have actual Tucker-Max-(no link for you, I’m clean now)-type nicknames. And because I didn’t want to get jumped by a disgruntled fan who didn’t appreciate their nickname, I let people pick their own. That was a mistake.

The following conversation (via facebook) between me and Roi: (And no, we’re not actual girlfriends, that’s a JOKE. And yes, we do tend to refer to ourselves in third person. Don’t judge us.)

Me: You need a nickname. That's not "my girlfriend".
Roi: how about "amazing friend that is so awesome, you can't even put it into words without sounding ridiculous and using too many "a" adjectives
Me: your nicnkame makes the acronym "aftisoaycepiiwwsrautmaa". That's a bad thing.
Roi: 1)coolest acronym ever 2)extremely annoying for you to type (a definite plus) 3)please don't give me a mean one now, like retard on ice. (roi)i kinda like that. like a feminine version of roy.wowza, i'm cool.love, roi
Me: that's it; you're Roi on Compaionable Ills. What is it with three-letter two-vowel nicknames?
Roi: [Roi] wants to cry. only a little. i like roi. you better mention i named myself.

Side note: Roi is the only one of these that has caught on in real life. Ha ha.

Red Dog was less-than-thrilled about being associated with something as… well, you know… as an IB blog – until he realized he could pick any name and I had just agreed to call him that all over the internets. Tell the truth, I’m surprised - and eternally grateful - that he didn’t pick The Earthly Manifestation Of All That Is Manly And Hot (Temoatimah) or something like that. (No, Red Dog, you cannot change your nickname to that now.)

Geo and Meg are nick-nicknames – manipulations of their real-life names into untraceable, three-letter internet names. They don’t stand for anything, though suggestions are welcome.

Goa is a city in India. Goa herself is a proud Indian. It fits, and it’s what started the three-letter, vowel-heavy tradition of 5 nicknames.

5 is our 5-girl clique. We have a name for it that’s made up of the first letters of our last names, but here 5 works just fine. Call me lazy.

Ex is… Roi’s ex. The nickname fits him, since it’s only his status as Roi’s ex that makes him even remotely noticeable to 5 or worth mentioning here. His nickname might change to Turtle soon – the result of a 5 inside joke that would be pointless to try to explain. It would also make clique-related nicknames kind of a requirement, given that he’s good friends with Duckie (also Ex’s Friend, who really doesn’t warrant a nickname yet). Duckie is another nick-nickname, and also really fits, if you know him.

The Senior Boys are… a group of senior IB boys we hang out with. They’ve never needed specific nicknames, so they just go by SB#1, SB#2, etc. with the exception of Tilapia, which is a personal joke between me and him, and really doesn’t warrant any explanation – I’m a little sadistic at times, is all.

My nickname, Sal, is taken from J.D. Salinger. Why? Because The Catcher In The Rye is the be-all-and-end-all of teen-angst literature, and I’m writing a blog about being in IB. Try and tell me it doesn’t fit.

IB Insults

IB vs. “Normal” Insults:
(Yes, I or one of my friends did say every one of these)

Normal: Hey, what moron dumped their stuff all over my desk?
IB: Imperialist swine!

Normal: Wow, way to say something retarded.
IB: Your Wernicke’s area just failed big-time.

Normal: You’re a sucky driver.
IB: In Soviet Russia, car drive YOU!

Normal: That’s a really bad grade.
IB: That’s a bigger failure than the Bay of Pigs!

Normal: You’re gay.
IB: You sound like Harry Harlow.

Normal: You’re a nerd.
IB: You’re even more of a nerd than me.
*A little note on the n-word: It’s just like the other n-word. We can use it with each other, but nobody else is allowed to call us that.

Normal: OHH BURN!
IB: You better buy some stock in the Aloe-Vera company, ‘cause you’re gonna need a lot of it for that BURN!

Normal: Does she ever shut up?
IB: Major oral fixation.

Normal: Don’t be such a girl.
IB: You have ovaries.

Normal: My little brother’s so annoying. He’s all into sports with my dad…
IB: My little brother’s so annoying. He’s totally latent stage…

Normal: If my boyfriend ever talks to me that way again, he’s history.
IB: He sounded just like Torvald, and I will not be Nora.

Normal: Hey, that was kinda racist.
IB: Uh oh. Do we have to break out the dolls?

IB Books

It's summer vacation. I should be relaxing and not thinking at all about colleges, high school, IB, or tests. Instead, I take the SAT tomorrow. I'm also sitting at the computer answering two pages of Biology questions thanks to summer homework.

Surprisingly, though, I could have maintained a cheerful attitude through it all. Heck, nobody joins IB unless they have a larger-than-is-probably-healthy masochistic streak. I'm used to it. In fact, I'm grateful for this summer homework. Really! But what finally got to me, is this:

IB makes books.

That don't open.

Alright, to be fair, the book isn't directly out of Switzerland IB HQ. But it is "for use with the IB". And it's an okay book, too. The diagrams are easy to draw and it's paperback and easy to carry around. (See how optimistic and forgiving I can be?)

But the thing is, the book doesn't stay open long enough for you to actually learn anything. It's got a one-inch spine that's even more unbreakable than my spirit. All year, in Bio class, whenever we had to draw a diagram or answer some questions, you could look around and see kids with their elbows at awkward angles, trying desperately to hold their books open while completely destroying their ability to draw, write, or feel their fingers. I use my other Bio book, which is hardback and weighs more than all 5 members combined (though that's not saying much) to hold the book "flat". Here's my technique:

1.) Find a space big enough to accomodate two textbooks and whatever worksheet you have. (This eliminates both of my desks and the area in front of my computer)

2.) Open the little blue book (remember to stretch first) and find the page you're looking for. Beware: the index is done by chapters, so this might take a while.

3.) Lay the blue book open at the correct page. When it snaps itself shut, repeat step 2.

4.) Place the red book on top of the blue book, at least two inches down from the top. (If you need to look at something close to the top of the page... good luck.)

5.) Tilt your head parallel to the floor if you need to read anything on the bottom half of the page, as it is curved due to the book's valiant efforts to close itself. (Pretend you're reading one of those code things on the back of cereal boxes - it's fun!)

6.) Repeat steps 2-5 if you need to turn the page.

But, seriously. I know we're IB, and we're smart and everything, but that really doesn't mean we don't need books that open. You can give us summer homework, and you can give us two incomprehensible textbooks, and we'll be fine... but please don't add insult to injury by requiring us to be both engineers and contortionists in order to read the textbooks.

Oh, and you're not fooling anyone making the history textbooks look like novels. They're still not interesting, and now there aren't even any pictures.

IB Tests, In Legos!

A few nights ago, 5 and the Senior Boys all went over to Meg's to play Wii Tennis and swim. And build things out of her little brother's legos.

Me: What should I make out of legos?
SB#1: Hell!

Roi: Ha!
SB#2: AAUUUUUGHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO HOW DID I MISS THAT SERVE????

So there you have it. Hell represented in lego form. That's (from left) Roi, me (that is a mouth, not a mustache), and Ex (yes, a cyclops flower) taking our IB tests. The Test Invigilator has the machine gun to prevent TESTING AREA CONTAMINATION, which may be a bit of an exaggeration, but not much.

My First IB Test

Yesterday was the senior's last day of school! Good luck and we'll miss you.

IB tests are, essentially, very big finals at the end of senior year that test everything you learned (or were supposed to) over the last two years, without actually asking – they’re very, very broad essay questions. They, along with CAS and the Extended Essay, are the Holy Grails of getting our IB Diplomas.
I took my first one on Thursday, as a junior, because the Psychology class my school offers is only SL (Standard Level – one year long). I’ve spent all of high school watching the seniors deal with IB tests, and it usually goes through four stages:
1.) Oh dear Lord, did we ever actually learn any of this?
2.) Of course we did. This stuff is easy. We’ll do fine.
3.) We really couldn’t care less about our IB tests at this point.
4.) Oh dear Lord, the test is TODAY! Did we ever actually learn any of this? That’s okay, I’ll bet we do just fine. Like we care anyway.

I’m happy to say that because Psychology Teacher is one of the most amazing teachers I’ve ever had, that the Psych test was really stress-free, at least for me. We started reviewing in class a week before the test, and I stayed every day for after-school study sessions. They really were more “review” than “study”, as we spent all year learning this stuff and most of us had no real need to go back and re-learn or cram any of it.
The day of the test, all of us were excused from all of our classes. The test started at 12, and we were to spend all morning in the Psych room reviewing. When we got there at 7:45, Psych Teacher had a whole table of sugary breakfast snacks set out for us. After completely demolishing the food, we filled up the chalkboard completely with empirical studies (the one thing we were all shaky on) and jumped around on sugar highs, yelling and trying to focus and memorize a bunch of names, dates, and experiments. That lasted about twenty minutes, after which we sat sprawled on the floor listening to iPods, throwing gummi fruit at each other, and studying various notes. If you had walked into the room around 8:30, you would have seen a bunch of jittery but lethargic teenagers lying on each other’s stomachs, surrounded by a huge mass of papers spread all over the floor, shouting out random facts, questions, or song lyrics.
By third hour we had been exiled to the second floor of the library because Psych Teacher had a class. The attitude by that point was “if we don’t know it by now, we’re just not going to talk about it on the exam” so we (me, Roi, Goa, Geo, Ex, and Duckie) spent the last two hours before the exam talking, snacking, and generally relaxing. Meg and the senior boys made an appearance during lunch because the seniors were under the impression that there was free food. Upon discovering that the food was back in PT’s room, and that we weren’t going to go get them fruit snacks, they left.
When we got to the testing room at 11:45 (fifteen minutes early so the Test Invigilator could make sure our pockets were empty and all that), it finally hit us that we were actually taking an IB test. Cue frantic last-minute studying. After getting yelled at for “contaminating” the front of the room, we all picked up our answer sheets, went back and got the right ones (so sue me, no one told me they had our names already on them!) found seats, turned our pockets inside out, exchanged wide-eyed silent “good luck” looks, and prepared for our tests. The Test Invigilator opened the plastic-wrapped exams in front of us so we could rest assured that nobody had tampered with our tests (that really does keep me up at night, you don’t know) and handed them out.
They were relatively painless, too. I blanked completely on one question at first but calmed down a little and aced it. I’m a big believer in karma and all that, and I really don’t want to jinx myself – but I’m also not going to lie. I feel really confident and I’m pretty sure almost everybody else does as well. In the language of IB – we PWNED that test! Great job everyone, and a huge huge huge thank-you to PT for everything – the teaching, the food, the relaxation, the all-around awesomeness. We really couldn’t have done it without her.

In IB, This Is Totally Normal

A few little announcements for the people at my high school who read this…

1.) Happy Birthday! to one of the senior boys. Happy 18th, Tilapia, much love and have fun in California!
2.) This is kinda late, but good luck everyone on their IB tests! With a little luck the IB Graders in Kenya or Mexico or Mars or wherever will have mercy on our souls.

Now onto our previously scheduled update.

In IB, This Is Totally Normal:

~Hearing “don’t forget to take your cocaine packets home and do them!” as you leave Psych class. (our teacher was, of course, referring to packets of PAPER with questions about cocaine use)

~Calling the White House from your second hour class. (while watching All The President’s Men, I asked if just anyone could really call up the White House. History Teacher looked up the number and we called and talked to the switchboard operator)

~ Finding out that some classmates of yours started a new political party. (And realizing that they’d probably do a better job running the country than the people who are trying it now)

~ “Ted Kennedy killed your mom!” jokes. En Espanol.

~ Having your locker attacked and crammed randomly with ten-year-old Mac software CDs.

~ “Just dump the bodies in the back of the room” (referring to the Psych drawings immortalized in a previous entry)

~ “So, it really means nothing?” “Yes, which is why it means something.” (Discussing Going After Cacciato)

~My mother: Sal! Why are there always so many towels on the floor of the bathroom? It’s like they appear there by osmosis!
Me: Uh, osmosis is the diffusion of water through membranes and has nothing to do with why Bro can’t clean up after himself.
Mom: So they appear by spontaneous combustion?
Me: Try spontaneous generation, Mom.
Mom: Well are you going to pick up the bathroom?
Me: No.
(My mother is actually a very intelligent woman – she just doesn’t remember the how-does-this-apply-to-real-life-at-all vocabulary lessons)

~Participating in a prank with the senior class that requires your entire class to go to a different classroom on the other side of campus, and realizing that every single classmate of yours is there before the late bell rings. (as Roi put it, “you know it’s IB when everyone’s in the wrong classroom on time.”)

~Ex: Well if Duckie got a B on his oral, then everyone’s obviously going to do well.
Me: Hey now, that’s not good self-efficacy for Duckie JANE ELIOT 1968!
(when studying for the Psych IB final gets to be too much)